Research Paper

This is my research paper.

Student comment update #3

I commented on Fernando Souza blog.

Student comment #2

I commented on Dionne. The link is here.

Student comment update

I commented on Christianhttp://christiancajamarcaeng103.blogspot.com/2013/11/progress-110513.html?showComment=1386095438371#c8778554309254401401

Update

Currently revising my essay in class. I haven't had a chance to do it because I was so busy with auditions and scenes for my other classes. I bought myself the new asus 2 in 1 tablet which included Microsoft Office. Now I never have an excuse for my format being messed up. I still have an idea of what I have to write to make it better. I have to include how the authority figures are responsible for not monitoring their children. This is the last class so I also have to comment on people's blogs, then if I have time I can even edit some old work to get a better grade.

Update

Hello, currently I'm writing my revised version of my essay. I'm taking in consideration the ideas you gave me during the meting we had. I know it doesn't take much for me to make it better I just have to find the time to actually do it. I've been so stressed with school and auditions for the In the Heights musical and pretty much anythings involving acting. But I just need to relax and just finish what I started to I can feel self accomplished. I came to far to mess up.

Happy Thanksgiving :-)

UPDATE

So I got my grade back for the research paper Draft and surprisingly it's a potential grade of a B. I'm happy it's a B because I know exactly what I did wrong with my essay. Since I was rushing to get it done because I had so much other work to do with my job on top of, I went of on a tangent at the end. My beginning argument was very clear that I thought media had a negative effect. At the end I tried to find a solution to lowering the influence by telling parents what they should do. Not that it was a bad idea but I went about it the opposite way. Instead I should have blamed the parents for neglecting their children and not being concerned enough.  Also I need to include other reasons that my neglect children's well being like the schools or government. I will just do some grammatical changes and fix my last 3 paragraphs and I think I'm good for an A+. :-)